I'm reminded - again - that it's okay to not be okay.
I think that we, especially as men, want to look like we know what we're doing all the time. The core question that every man is constantly seeking to answer is, "Do I have what it takes?"
Every man needs to know, "Do I have what it takes?"
We hide our pain, ignore our emotions. That's what we've been taught strength looks like. But it's not.
Real strength comes in vulnerability and weakness. There have been several times in the past year where I've been in intense pain, my emotions are eating me alive, and I knew I needed to let someone in on my pain.
Both times, I went to my best friend and cried in his arms. The first time I did, it took 15 minutes of internal wrestling and bitter conflict before I had the guts to ask him, "Can you hold me right now?"
Men are terrified of letting another man see them in a place of weakness.
That's one of the most terrifying things for men: letting another man see us in a moment of weakness. We could be rejected, made fun of, and completely destroyed in that moment.
But without vulnerability, we cannot be open to receiving love, and love is what heals all wounds and pain.
Without vulnerability, love can't come in to heal our wounds.
In those moments of crying in another man's arms, I received love and had moments of incredible healing that have made me stronger, more confident, and more courageous. And as a man, I felt like after those moments, I can do anything!
I know I have what it takes.
So here's what we need to do in moments of weakness: run at the fear! Don't let it control you any longer. Fear has got be wrestled down and strangled to death.
Life's too short to hide. You have what it takes.
Practical Next Steps
We need to know that we have what it takes, but we'll never discover the answer by staying on the safe side, never stepping over that chicken line of vulnerability. Take some risks. Find one safe friend and open up to him about your struggles and current weaknesses this week.